tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post3912570635267665609..comments2023-09-10T04:06:15.106-07:00Comments on My Chinese Wife: Some cross-cultural problems in our marriageAuthorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08171722874688363774noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-58876746447264984222013-03-01T13:12:36.106-08:002013-03-01T13:12:36.106-08:00My name is Anita,i live in Canada .A very big prob...My name is Anita,i live in Canada .A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband.so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.He said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,ANITAnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-10080362558559056822012-07-05T20:13:06.160-07:002012-07-05T20:13:06.160-07:00I don't think you will ever understand because...I don't think you will ever understand because cultural opposites...in the beginning you never realize core values are that different and that your partner will try to be that. Stubborn. They do not compromise and you probably cannot compromise enough... It is never enoughAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-16673328712742118602012-07-05T20:03:23.575-07:002012-07-05T20:03:23.575-07:00Totally cultural... Anyone that disagrees has not ...Totally cultural... Anyone that disagrees has not been exposed to it. I am the American mother in law and my heart is broken to see the disrespect.. He deserved so much more but evidently he doesn't think so... You have validated my observations.. My son thinks I am the problem...at least now I know it's not me.. Very difficult to watch ... Are you men blind?? These woman are Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-11492980470827259042012-03-19T08:27:24.919-07:002012-03-19T08:27:24.919-07:00This is absolutely a cultural problem! I'm Chi...This is absolutely a cultural problem! I'm Chinese and I totally understand what your wife is talking about. It's not right or wrong but just culture, if you meet some other Chinese girls or boys who have good relations with her family at home. She will do the same thing, discuss something with her family without telling you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-68191206869455227472012-02-22T20:23:53.226-08:002012-02-22T20:23:53.226-08:00It doesn't take such a long time to know a per...It doesn't take such a long time to know a person. You two could have been divorced in the first a few years if the different cultures was a big issue. I know almost all marriages encounter difficult time after 7 or 8 years, even those couple from the same backgrounds.CFnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-84065486430259551322012-01-04T23:17:32.741-08:002012-01-04T23:17:32.741-08:00Dregonism - wow your commentary is hard to read bu...Dregonism - wow your commentary is hard to read but important for me or any guy marrying a chinese woman to read. They do see marriage to an american as contract job more than seeking utopia. I really think after 30 years of living in China, its hard to change the woman. But you know what most american wives after 15 years are s---heads too.<br />PersonallyI would spend every moment possible withAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-6624618776224765142011-08-16T14:06:19.916-07:002011-08-16T14:06:19.916-07:00The note if for the last comments directed to me -...The note if for the last comments directed to me - thanks for your taking time to write your thoughts. Things are very nasty at this point, but I remain hopeful that I can still create a good life for my kids as they grow-up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-64314184989366318952011-08-15T21:35:35.629-07:002011-08-15T21:35:35.629-07:00And oh, so ,many chinese chicks hook up with for t...And oh, so ,many chinese chicks hook up with for the Green Card thing, they want to escape out of China.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-69633480224992702662011-08-15T21:33:44.092-07:002011-08-15T21:33:44.092-07:00@dreganism - Shit Happens. But don't lose hear...@dreganism - Shit Happens. But don't lose heart. Sit down calmly. Talk to a trusted non fair weather friend. you will be able to find a path that will give your kids and yourself a win. to a person with bad motives -When push comes to shove, you should do it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-79519530445068873212011-04-25T18:58:31.588-07:002011-04-25T18:58:31.588-07:00My wife is the most bull-headed person I have ever...My wife is the most bull-headed person I have ever met. She comes to conclusions after meaningful discussion with her mother, father and sister and is then set in her opinion and refuses to discuss any options or other points of view.<br /><br />The scary thing about the meaningful discussions she has is that everyone in her family has the same point of view and they are very very narrow-minded Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-64026140965148477122011-04-06T22:23:35.504-07:002011-04-06T22:23:35.504-07:00My wife was born in Shanghai, grew up in Hong Kong...My wife was born in Shanghai, grew up in Hong Kong, and went to university in the United States and is the polar opposite of the woman you describe as your wife. <br /><br />I can only conclude that your wife is using "Chinese culture" as an excuse for her own poor behavior and moral character.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-5495420374158546862011-04-03T10:43:59.055-07:002011-04-03T10:43:59.055-07:00If she told you that Chinese women do not involve ...If she told you that Chinese women do not involve their husbands in making private and vital family decisions such as child planning, she is bull-shitting you. This has nothing to do with culture. Do not buy all that she tells you about China. Do not let her use culture as excuses to fool you. Do not let yourself fooled either.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-61240962597662080862011-02-22T09:37:03.233-08:002011-02-22T09:37:03.233-08:00hi everybody,,magic is real,just believed that som...hi everybody,,magic is real,just believed that some weeks ago i guess,and the funny thing is i learnt it the hard way..i had been married for four years with two kids and thought everything in my marriage was perfect and extraordinary,my husband was the most loving and my whole family was happy until everything changed..don't know how or what happened but i guess i didn't believe it was bainesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-77378908810217332092011-02-22T05:18:08.232-08:002011-02-22T05:18:08.232-08:00hi everybody,,magic is real,just believed that som...hi everybody,,magic is real,just believed that some weeks ago i guess,and the funny thing is i learnt it the hard way..i had been married for four years with two kids and thought everything in my marriage was perfect and extraordinary,my husband was the most loving and my whole family was happy until everything changed..don't know how or what happened but i guess i didn't believe it was bainesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-80677433271844252442011-01-30T10:15:52.807-08:002011-01-30T10:15:52.807-08:00Ideally this is something discussed before marriag...Ideally this is something discussed before marriage. My wife and I agreed to a certain number of children before marriage. We have that number, but I do find myself wanting another child. However, our children are older, child-rearing does fall predominantly on the mother, my wife wants to restart her career, and it must be a joint decision.<br /><br />How important is it to you? Are you willing Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-5214442051995809112010-12-11T12:20:17.665-08:002010-12-11T12:20:17.665-08:00As far as I know a Chinese will be always Chinese,...As far as I know a Chinese will be always Chinese, and will try to change the world around..but never consider to change herself. My gf is trying to "export" her culture to me. By saying "I know you like to eat Chinese" she always tries to cook chinese and we always go for shopping at the Chinese supermarket, etc...<br />She will try to "conquer" your space but you Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-47214553638642101482010-05-08T18:30:42.547-07:002010-05-08T18:30:42.547-07:00I think what she says is true -- in most chinese /...I think what she says is true -- in most chinese / asia, man often times make decision without involving their wives. :) <br />But maybe you should tell her, since she is married to a westener, she has to open up her mind. <br />Say to her, isn't it better that in making any decision, we discuss it together ? <br /><br />good luck man ! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-71855488805241007682010-04-06T12:31:51.633-07:002010-04-06T12:31:51.633-07:00I think the fact that you have to specify and call...I think the fact that you have to specify and call your wife 'my Chinese wife' says it all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-39453966995638787382010-03-31T00:30:49.795-07:002010-03-31T00:30:49.795-07:00Hi,
Lets look slight deeper on her pespective ins...Hi,<br /><br />Lets look slight deeper on her pespective instead of blaming the culture. <br /><br />You have a 7 year old son and now you are looking for 2nd kid. 7 years gap is quite long for some one who already pass the "babysitting, frequent diapers change, sleepness night, constast feed, 24 hours monitoring, unable to leave home, unable to go vacation, movie, shopping, constant grumpy,dr_luvnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-2777577023740464452010-03-28T20:04:34.709-07:002010-03-28T20:04:34.709-07:00I am from a background that is very similar to you...I am from a background that is very similar to your wife's and I can say with all honesty that your wife's decision and actions are not culturally based. I feel that your wife's reaction to homosexuality, decision to not have more children, frequent need to spit (!!!) and petty competition such as fighting for park space extremely disconcerting. Such backward thinking is quite Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096932461826889390.post-88055089210111658912010-03-27T05:56:24.594-07:002010-03-27T05:56:24.594-07:00I don't believe it's bcos of the culture p...I don't believe it's bcos of the culture problem, it's simply just your wife's problem, I do agree with u, the matter is only between you and ur wife, yes, she can ask for her family's opinion, but at the end it's still her choice isn't it? I don't think it's abt having Chinese background, even if both of you are from the same nation, this kind of disagreement Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com