In the past I have tolerated my wife's quirk's, and I viewed them as managable little issues that would resolve themselves with a dose of common sense.
Maybe I have been too tolerant however, and just maybe, these little quirk's were something more than that, maybe even something pathalogic like a paranoid disorder.
One example for instance hapenned not that long ago, but this is just one of many.
My wife had formed the belief that our electrician was trying to assasinate her. This was the word she used "assasinate".
She came to this conclusion when he hapenned to leave a cutting tool behind on our kitchen table after he was called to fix a faulty fuse.
My wife saw this as a symbolic gensture that he was jealous of her, and wanted her life to suffer.
The electrician was a small, timid Chinese man, who spoke in broken English, but who was called by my wife because he was cheap.
This little benign incident took a life of its on, when my wife started "seeing" the electrician following us when we were out.
My wife kept on demanding that I confront him about his assasination attemps (apparently my wife heard the sound of gunshots close to our home).
She kept on fretting that he will drive past our house and shoot her.
Anyway, that bizarre period died a slow death, and only so when I demanded that she not speak of it again lest I take her to a psychiatrist.
Now there are many more incidents like this, and I have always taken the approach that she is my wife, and I have an obligation to stick with her and manage whatever she has going on in her head together.
I also believed that my son would be infinitely better off with my constant watchful eye on his mother, rather than a likely outcome of my son being in his mother's sole custody.
I mention my son because a number of times my wife's delusion revolved completely around my son, and had it not been for my resistance she would have involved the child, I believe, in a harmful way.
Well I raise all this because I have been recently following story in the press about a father who had similar experiences with his wife, to the point where she finally accused him of sexually abusing their child.
The story (The father who never gave up)involved a mother who imagined one bizarre incident after another, and finally abducted the child internationally to protect the child from the father.
The psychiatric analysis of the mother showed a history of paranoid delusions that climaxed into her fixation on the father.
Now this story has really worried me. My wife has not yet made such comments to lead me to believe that she has developed such beliefs, but she does want to send the child to China for 4 years, and so I am left wondering.
Site exploring my interracial marriage. I am an anglo male and my wife is chinese born. Read the hilarious and sometimes stressful goings on in our lives as we try and meet the challenge of the significant cultural differences between us.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Outsourcing children to be raised in China
Well, even though we have technically reconciled, it seems that every second day I have to put out a new spot fire.
I do not seem to be able to get any respite within this relationship.
My wife has now come to the conclusion that our son needs to be taken to China and left there for four years, so that he can learn Mandarin proper.
When my son was just born, we went through a similar episode where my wife insisted that we send the newborn to China with her mother, to be raised in China for the first eight years of his life. She argued that this would free us to make more money and not be tied down by having to raise a child.
I said "No" back then, despite it causing a lot of arguments, and I am saying "No" again.
I do not seem to be able to get any respite within this relationship.
My wife has now come to the conclusion that our son needs to be taken to China and left there for four years, so that he can learn Mandarin proper.
When my son was just born, we went through a similar episode where my wife insisted that we send the newborn to China with her mother, to be raised in China for the first eight years of his life. She argued that this would free us to make more money and not be tied down by having to raise a child.
I said "No" back then, despite it causing a lot of arguments, and I am saying "No" again.
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