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People are often shocked to learn that CJ is in fact one quarter Filipino.
Yes, he looks like my clone - but unlike me, he does get a tan as evidenced by his thong marks acquired this summer.
For me, CJ’s looks have never been an issue. But for his father there has always been a concern that people look at him and wonder how he fits into the picture. Is he my second husband? Have I moved on rather fast? Is he the babysitter, the nanny?
He told me the other day that he has thought about what he would do if CJ was having a tantrum and refusing to walk with him (which being 19, almost 20-months old he does a LOT). He assumes that someone will think he is taking a stranger’s child. He plans to show them the photos in his wallet and tell them mater of factly that he is CJ’s dad.
I cringe when people look at the three of us and say “Geez mate, your genes really didn’t get a look in with that one”.
A friend of mine has a similar situation. While I think her daughter looks like her, she is often stopped in the street and asked about “her heritage”. It drives her nuts. Almost every day she has to explain why her daughter has blond curls while she has dark hair and dark skin. She told me “She’s my daughter, her looks shouldn’t matter, I shouldn’t have to explain everyday.”
As more and more people have inter-racial marriages, more and more couples will come up against this issue. It is also possible that I could have another child that has dark skin, dark eyes and black hair. CJ could look nothing like his sibling. I do wonder what the kids at school will say to them if they look like polar opposites.
But what do you think? Do looks really matter? Have you ever asked a mum or dad why their child looks so different to them? Has it happened to you? Does it drive you crazy?
Lastly, Merry Christmas everyone. I’m going on holidays with my boys for a few weeks. Naughty Corner will be back in the new year with a big surprise.
1 comment:
very common theme. This issue of identity is seldom talked about but very often thought about.
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