The Hotmail account

Well, I can at least say that my weekend was eventful.

Matters have been somewhat of a stalemate for a while now, but last weekend something changed.

I am yet however to work out whether things have changed for the better or worse.

It all began on the Saturday. We were all ill with cold, so we decided to take a nap in the afternoon.

My mother-in-law went to bed, I put our son to bed, and my wife and I went to bed as well.

However after about 20 minutes my wife got quietly out of bed. I expected her to return soon, thinking she went to the bathroom, but she did not return.

So I simply tried to get some sleep.

After another half hour, I wasn't getting any real rest because I had a conjected chest, so I decided to get up and go to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Given that my son and mother-in-law were asleep, I walked quietly to the living area on my way to the kitchen.

Our kitchen is closed-plan ajoins our living area. Our living area is large and contains a makeshift office, typically used by me when I am reviewing patient records, whilst also looking after my son.

My wife has her own home office, which is right next to our bedroom.

Well uncharacteristicly, I saw my wife at my desk in the living area, using my PC. She chose for her own reasons not to use her own office, which she almost always uses.

She did not hear me approaching. As I got closer, I tried not to look at what she was doing, partly because I felt it was an invasion of her privacy, and party because I was afraid of what I would see.

But I just couldn't resist!

As I approached I could see that she was using her hotmail email account. It was clear to me from where I was that she was reviewing and then deleting emails, one after the other, from the "sent" folder.

Now my wife and I both have home email accounts that we access mutually. I often ask my wife to access my email from home and she does likewise with me. But this email account, the Hotmail account, is my wife's "private" email account.

I know it exists, but it has always been clear to me that it is out-of-bounds to me.

Anyway, as I got closer, my wife finally heard me.

She was startled by my presence. She literally jumped out of her seat, and let out a slight scream..."ahhhhhhhhhh!".

Her immediate comment after that was, "You scared me!"

Almost as soon as she said that, she minimised the web browser on my computer and then proceeded to close the PC down, fumbling nervously as she proceeded.

My obvious inclination was to ask her why she was acting so suspiciously, but knowing her as I do, she would simply have dismissed my comment and she would have walked away, so I thought that nothing would be gained by speaking up.

So I said nothing. But for one short second though, our eyes met, and I deteceted a nervousness about her that I don't often see.

After this incident, I got a strong feeling that something had know become undeniably "unresolved" in this little charade that we were playing, and I half expected my wife to try and somehow explain things away asomehow, to try and bring back the semblence of harmony.

Although these things are hard to explain properly, I did "sense" that my self-restraint spoke much louder than any words I could have mustered, and it seemed to me that my wife felt very uncomfortable with the situation. I felt as clearly as day follows night, that my wife would somehow try to address this situation, I just didn't know how or when.

.......but I didn't need to wait long, as when Sunday came along, I could feel that my wife was preparing to tell me something, in one form or another.

More on this next time, as such events are exhausting and I do not wish to dwell on this for longer than I need to.