Sunday, December 06, 2009

Jealousy & blondes

I recently got a new receptionist in my practice.

She is by all accounts a very attactive woman. She has long blonde hair, large baby blue eyes and very long legs.

Now this is not out of the ordinary in and of itself, but for the fact that this receptionist has been paying....well how can I put it...."special" attention to me. In fact, you could say that she has been overtly flirting.

I typically ignore this as when I am in the clinic, as my focus is purely on my patients. But clearly the other girls in the clinic have not.

It is obvious as a result that someone has called my wife, Ms B, and alerted her to the new receptionist's behaviour.

During our night out for our anniversary recently, Ms B asked me during dinner:

"Do you like blondes more and Asian women?"

I had yet to catch on to her concern, and so simply made a joke that blondes are more beautiful. Well, wasn't this a mistake!

Ms B then started giving me the third degree.

"Are you sleeping with the new receptionist, Sonja?"

"Are you bored of Chinese women?"

"Are you bored of me?"

"I always catch you looking at blonde women. Why?"

The irony is that I do not particularly like blonde women. Dark hair is my thing. In any case, all her concerns were baseless, but how do you comfort a jealous women?

Anyway, I tried my best, and after I made it clear that this was all in her mind, she started to calm down, but then she began insiting that I sack the receptionist.

I said "No", not unless she performs poorly in her work.

That night when we got home, Ms B went out of her way to make herself available to me. She even modelled the sexy lingerie I bought her, and she let me take pictures of her in lingerie.

It ended up being a nice evening, but I have no doubt that we will revisit the issue of the receptionist again soon.


Anonymous said...

I too am married to a chinese woman.

I have experienced an irrational fear from my wife that I will lave her for a blonde.

I get the feeling she believes that she cannot compete with a blonde, and so there is a strange psychological dynamic going on in her mind, believing that I will eventually be charmed away from her by the powers possessed by blondes.

I rally can't explain this thinking but it is definitely there.

Anonymous said...

Chinese women both idolise and fear blondes. They know that they can't compete with them.

Anonymous said...

If your receptionist is coming onto you while knowing you're married, then she's a immoral trouble-maker. Coloring being a moot point, your wife is right to be jealous. I'd sack the blonde if I were you. If nothing else then for the sake of peace and love from your wife.

Faye said...

Wrong on most counts, Comment #1 and #2.

Asian women are very pragmatic people, especially Chinese people.

Where as most races would inject a fair amount of emotion into their reaction towards things, Chinese women in general tend to base their reaction on observations of reality.

On the concept of interracial relationships - obviously, most races marry within themselves.

Chinese marry Chinese, Italian marry Italian, Greek marry Greek - you get my point.

For Chinese women having married a foreigner it is a risk she has taken with her reputation, her pride and her upbringing to met social and filial expectations of family.

Marrying out of her race within most Asian races for a woman is frowned upon.
Some Asian women (Middle-Eastern women, for example) are even in danger of being killed or ostracised if they dare to marry out.

Hence her asking you this question comes from the probable observation that since the receptionist seems to have caught eye and vice versa, not to mention your badly timed joke (read and learn - Chinese people don't take jokes very well. We don't have much of a sense of humour. When we laugh at your jokes its mostly because we're being polite. When it comes to a serious situation never make a joke. Only make one when it is a casual, 'yippee we're having fun' type of gathering/outing. Fine I might be exaggerating about the no sense of humour part as it usually applies to older Chinese people - but we believe in right time right place right situation.) - she has assessed the receptionist as a potential risk.

Since we all know most races marry within one another are are generally attracted to one another - she has concluded that perhaps your marrying her has reached a point where the novelty has worn off and you are back liking blondes.

What you ought to do is not come across as wishy washy.
Either dump the receptionist or make clear to your wife that you will set strict and clear boundaries to your receptionist, that you will warn her that such behaviour is unacceptable.

On the flip side, would you accept it if your wife entertains a very attractive Asian male who is coming on to her very strongly and she doesn't seem to show much interest in your concerns and protectiveness towards her?

The comment 'Chinese women both idolise and fear blondes' is laughable and only smacks of an uneducated mentality so common of today's people and does not dignify a response.

Dave said...

Faye's nailed it. I'm learning so much about Chinese Women's behaviour from travelling in China and Australia with my girlfriend. With an Aussie wife I would have reacted same way. I'm learning. thanks Faye your helping. (I could do with more help yet)

Anonymous said...

You married someone. You are married. You took VOWS. Don't listen to these shmucks about banging the blonde receptionist. If your wife is feeling jealous, comfort her and tell her the only woman you want and need is HER. If this receptionist is making advances or being flirty, don't encourage it in any way because you HAVE A WIFE. Stay away from the receptionist and keep your relationship professional. Don't even think about banging the receptionist because YOU ARE MARRIED. and your wife is absolutely gorgeous. You are lucky, do not screw it up.

What do you like/dislike most about Chinese women?